Hello & Assalamu Alaikum!
Let’s keep it 100 and be completely honest, we have all been a victim of being judged by someone and we have also in the same token been a culprit of having judged another person. People judge others for so many reasons but really it comes down to a few common reasons as listed below.
- Lack of knowledge and understanding
- The person is suffering from low self-esteem
- The person thinks too highly of themself & believes they are above others
Now I just want to get this off my chest, never in my life have I experienced or seen as much judging prior to becoming a Muslim. You have some Muslim brothers wanting to make assumptions and give “advice” to sisters on their clothing, the way in which they wear their hijab, telling the sisters who don’t wear hijab to start doing so or they will go to hell, questioning why they are wearing makeup and the list goes on. However never will they understand, nor is it for them to understand the struggles Muslim women face daily nor the sacrifices in which they make to please Allah, Alhamdulilah.
When it comes to the sisters it’s a wholeeeee other level sheesh! If it’s not about the makeup another sister has on her face it’s comments on the jersey maxi skirt or leggings she’s wearing (both are equally fitted in case you didn’t know). If it’s not about her ankle that’s showing or comments that she’s wearing nail polish it’s comments on the peeking tattoo on her wrist. However I can guarantee 99.99999% (that’s a whole lot of per cent lol) it’s ALWAYS about her headscarf. “That colour is too bright your drawing attention from men” or “There’s hair exposed you need to retie your scarf” or “Turban is haram it is not hijab!” and “Hijab is not a fashion accessory, you must tie it the correct way”.
Now let me ask you this, without knowing the facts your making an assumption based off of what, a social media platform? Do you know this person as an individual, do you know them well enough at all? Do you know their past, where they have come from as opposed to where they are today and insha Allah where they plan to be in the future? Most likely in all honestly, you don’t know them at all, you might live cities apart or have only met them once in person and it was simply a Salaam, how are you and Wasalaam. Yet by simply seeing a sister’s social media profile or walking by her in public it is assumed she has low Iman (faith) or that she isn’t a practising Muslim. Really? We can truly “know all this” without knowing the sister herself? I didn’t think so.
There is a big difference between doing a good deed and advising your sister PRIVATELY as opposed to judging and shaming them publicly for the world to see. There is also a difference between having the intention in helping your sister as opposed to believing that you are always right and “have all the knowledge in Islam” so they must listen to what you are saying and do it. That’s just arrogance and feeding into your nafs (ego/soul).
So many times I see sisters including niqabi sisters, ridiculing another sister on her public post shaming her for her appearance and I too have been a victim of this. A comment or two sure you brush it off but when it happens more than twice it can truly eat away at you and in many cases I have seen some sisters do a 180. Many of you may recall an American revert sister (who I will not name without her permission) who was a fashion blogger on Instagram who was seen wearing hijab and covered in some tattoos. Without many sisters knowing she was a revert and that she had tattoos prior to becoming Muslim, she was ridiculed and shamed many times on her Instagram that she ended up deleting her social media platforms.
How disgusting is that, publically shaming a revert sister without taking the time to privately ask her about her tattoos (not that it was any of their business), what kind of example did they think they were setting for a new sister in Islam? There’s been many similar cases where sisters have been attacked on social media on the way they wear their hijab and they end up taking it off; this will appear to some as rebelling but did they stop to think it could have gone as far as depression? I too have been a victim of this; shortly after reverting to Islam I was suffering depression from being told I was not worthy of being a Muslim, being called a Kuffar, being attacked on my appearance, it’s not easy to deal with trust me.
Another example is the disgusting choice of language and comments on sister Mona’s video last week! For those who weren’t aware Mona Haydar released a music video last week on Muslim Women’s Day titled HIJABI. The video and song itself was promoting female empowerment, love and beauty of hijab, diversity in the world, celebrating Muslim women and was very liberating and encouraging for hijabi sisters and non hijabi sisters. Not everyone agreed and of course the keyboard warriors were out in full force. People were making fun of the way Mona was rubbing her pregnant belly, there were sisters calling the sisters in the video names. I myself got attacked by a sister in response to her rude comment about the sisters in the video but of course, the haters made the video go viral with their hate 😛 *snaps fingers*
Now I can go on about this topic forever or even share with you all stories on the way I have been judged by sisters whom do not know me from the time I reverted til this very day but that was not my intention for this post. I will end this however with some general advice; Be the best Muslim you can be and do not let arrogance overtake you and lead you into being judgemental. Seek Allah’s help and guidance for EVERYTHING especially in correcting your own flaws, instead of worrying about another’s flaws, as they too are repenting and seeking Allah’s guidance.